THE LONG PATROL

Written by Donald Bellisario

Transcribed by Clay Arden for ByYourCommand.net

 

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

TIGH

Sensors indicate we are nearly through the asteroid dust, Commander.

 

ADAMA

(sighs excitedly)

Yes, yes.  I’m as nervous as a young cadet on his first orbit. 

 

BOXEY

I’m not nervous.  I don’t even know what to be nervous about.

 

APOLLO

We’re leaving our star system, Boxey.  When we get through this asteroid dust field, there’ll be a whole new galaxy, one no human in this fleet has ever seen before. 

 

(Muffit barks as the dust begins to dissipate.)

 

TIGH

Commander!

 

ADAMA

Yes! 

 

(Muffit barks again.)

 

BOXEY

Hush up, Muffit.  It’s just a bunch of old stars. 

 

ADAMA

Apollo, perhaps Boxey should take the helm.  He has a singular sense of perspective.

 

BOXEY

Can I?

 

APOLLO

No, you can not.  You are centons into your sleep period. 

 

BOXEY

Awww.  Commander?

 

ADAMA

Uh, now, you keep me out of this, young man.  I may be the commander of the fleet, but he’s your father.

 

APOLLO

Thank you. 

 

BOXEY

(to Muffit)

Next time I’ll act excited and maybe we could stay up.  Come on, Muffit. 

(leaves bridge with Muffit)

 

APOLLO

Was I ever like that?

(laughs)

 

ADAMA

Worse. 

 

TIGH

Initial sensor readings are negative on any signs of life in the first quadrant of this galaxy, sir. 

 

ADAMA

Hmm.  Well, as soon as the rest of the fleet has cleared the asteroid dust, concentrate all sensors forward to increase our range. 

 

TIGH

Yes, sir.

 

ADAMA

Thank you.  Apollo, who’s our volunteer?

 

APOLLO

Starbuck. 

 

ADAMA

Starbuck? 

 

ATHENA

Starbuck, a volunteer?

 

APOLLO

I don’t think it was his sense of duty. 

(clears throat)

Father’s idea to reopen the dining lounge on the Rising Star to give our people an evening to look forward to was brilliant, only the waiting list is nearly a yahren long.  But the first pilot to fly the new recon Viper goes to the head of the list.

 

ADAMA

Now, now, let’s not deprecate Starbuck’s volunteering for what could be a long and dangerous mission.

 

APOLLO

Oh, no, sir. 

 

ADAMA

What’s Starbuck’s status?

 

ATHENA

He’s due on the Rising Star at any moment. 

 

ADAMA

Well, let’s hope we don’t have to move him to red before he’s had something to eat.

 

ATHENA

Well, Starbuck did ask me to dinner tonight, but, uh, well, I do have this duty.  I guess he’ll have to eat alone. 

 

ADAMA

Well, uh, well, perhaps, uh, this once we can make an exception, hmm?  You go ahead and join him.  Eh, I’ll handle this with Colonel Tigh.

 

(In the Rising Star dining lounge, Starbuck and Cassiopeia watch the other ships in the fleet as they clear the asteroid dust.)

 

MAITRE D’

I’ve sailed the Rising Star hundreds of times.  This reminds me of the old days, before the war.

 

STARBUCK

Eh, yeah, ah, look, um—

(clears throat)

 

CASSIOPEIA

(laughs romantically)

 

STARBUCK

It, uh, may be a while before I get another chance to come back here for dinner, uh— big mission coming up!  You wouldn’t happen to have a, uh, private dining room?

 

MAITRE D’

Lieutenant, private rooms are reserved sixty and seventy centares in advance. 

(Starbuck passes him a cubit)

Well, one can always make arrangements for a warrior on his last night.

(heads for the private rooms)

 

STARBUCK

I don’t like the way he said that. 

 

CASSIOPEIA

Starbuck, what’s this about a mission? 

 

STARBUCK

Ah, it’s, uh, just a routine recon flight, but, eh, don’t tell him that. 

 

(The maître d’ shows them to a room.)

 

MAITRE D’

Will this do, Lieutenant?

 

STARBUCK

Perfect.  Uh, and a bottle of your finest ambrosa.

 

MAITRE D’

Ambrosa’s as rare as tilinium.

 

STARBUCK

(sighs and passes him another cubit)

 

MAITRE D’

I’ll see what I can do, sir. 

(exits)

 

(Cassiopeia and Starbuck laugh and kiss.)

 

CASSIOPEIA

Starbuck.  This is all so beautiful.  You know, most men don’t treat a med technician like this. 

 

STARBUCK

Hah, I think of you only as a woman.  A very rare and beautiful woman. 

 

(They kiss and laugh.)

 

CASSIOPEIA

Well, I’ll try to live up to that image.  Be back in a centon.

 

(They wave to each other as Cassiopeia leaves; Starbuck sighs contentedly.)

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

OMEGA

Commander, the long-range scanner indicates possible life forms.  Quadrant Alpha Six.  Request probe concentration.

 

ADAMA

Concentration’s approved.

 

APOLLO

Cylons?

 

ADAMA

Impossible to tell.  Prepare Recon Viper One. 

 

APOLLO

Yes, sir. 

 

OMEGA

Concentrated probe indicates definite life signs.

 

(On the Rising Star, Starbuck is shocked when Athena appears, waving, at the door of the private room.)

 

STARBUCK

Uh, Athena!

 

ATHENA

I managed to get off work after all.  I just didn’t want you to be alone on your last night before.

(they laugh)

You are alone, aren’t you?

 

STARBUCK

Er, eh, well, not any longer. 

 

MAITRE D’

(entering)

Sir? 

 

STARBUCK

Uh, yeah? 

(Maître d’ deposits tray with drinks)

Ah!  Listen, uh, there, eh—  You don’t happen to have a room with a better view?  There’s a sanitation ship right off our beam, not exactly appetizing scenery. 

 

ATHENA

A sanitation ship?  Where?

 

STARBUCK

Mmm, eh, it, uh, must have drifted back.  Uh, think there’s a first-orbit cadet at the controls.

(slipping the maître d’ a cubit)

Get me another room!

 

MAITRE D’

Yes, sir, I quite understand.

 

STARBUCK

Good.

(sighs and gives him another cubit)

 

MAITRE D’

Follow me.

 

STARBUCK

Right.  Uh, Athena?  Hm.

(pulls her out of room)

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

OMEGA

Asteroid concentration, binary star system.  Alpha Six mark seven seven five. 

 

TIGH

That’s within a hectare of our course, Commander. 

 

OMEGA

Right.

 

ADAMA

Yes.  Well, I hope Lt. Starbuck has had time to finish his dinner.

 

(second private room on the Rising Star)

 

ATHENA

Mm, hm, Starbuck—

 

STARBUCK

Hm.  Hm.

 

ATHENA

These mushies are just heavenly. 

 

STARBUCK

(smoking cigar)

Mm.

 

ATHENA

(offering him a bite)

Mm?

 

STARBUCK

Oh, ehh, no, thanks.

 

ATHENA

Mm.

 

STARBUCK

It’s—

 

ATHENA

Too bad we can’t have any fresh protein with them. 

 

STARBUCK

Yeah – ah – I’ll see what I can do.  Okay? 

 

ATHENA

Hey, look, just buzz the waiter. 

 

STARBUCK

Oh, no, that’s, eh, too slow.  I’ll be back in a flash.

 

(Starbuck returns to the first private room.)

 

CASSIOPEIA

What happened?

 

STARBUCK

(clears throat)

We’re all out of mushies.  Sorry.

(sighs)

 

CASSIOPEIA

I don’t mind.  The protein’s just fine. 

 

(They clink glasses, laugh, and take a drink.)

 

STARBUCK

Ehhh!  This stuff’s only a yahren old. 

 

CASSIOPEIA

Well, I think it has the right effect. 

 

(They laugh as she reclines across his lap.)

 

STARBUCK

Uh, so I see.

 

RIGEL (over communicator)

Lieutenant Starbuck, report to battlestar Galactica, Flight Deck Blue.  Lieutenant Starbuck, report to battlestar Galactica, Flight Deck Blue.  Priority red.

 

CASSIOPEIA

Oh, Starbuck.

 

STARBUCK

Duty calls, love. 

(they kiss)

Here. 

(removes his collar insignia and hands it to her)

 

CASSIOPEIA

Oh!

 

(In the other private room, Starbuck gives an identical insignia to Athena and they kiss.)

 

STARBUCK

Duty calls, love. 

 

ATHENA

I’m going with you.

 

STARBUCK

Ah!  No, no, you’re not.  Uh, look, this dinner is costing me every cubit I’ve got.  One of us is going to enjoy it.  Okay. 

(he gets up and she starts to get up also)

Ah-ah-ah, don’t move.  I want to remember you just as you are, beautiful against the stars. 

(they blow each other a kiss and he exits)

 

(In the corridor, the maître d’ presents Starbuck with the check.)

 

MAITRE D’

Sir. 

 

STARBUCK

Huh? 

(sighs and dumps out all his cubits)

Well, no need for cubits where I’m going. 

 

MAITRE D’

Thank you, sir.  And may I say, I admire the Lieutenant’s daring.

 

STARBUCK

Well, it’s, uh, just another mission.

 

MAITRE D’

Oh, no, sir.  I’m referring to the two young ladies.  Very prewar.

 

STARBUCK

(smiles)

Hm.

(leaves)

 

(The maître d’ withdraws discreetly as Cassiopeia and Athena approach each other around a corner, each cherishing the insignia from Starbuck.)

 

ATHENA

(gasps as their hands suddenly collide)

Why—!  Why, that—!

 

(Starbuck arrives in the launch bay in a nondescript flight suit.)

 

BOOMER

Oh, well, my, my, my!  Eh, don’t we look just – precious.

 

STARBUCK

Commander’s orders.  In case I have to land.  Don’t want everyone to know I’m a Colonial warrior. 

 

BOOMER

Well, Starbuck, you never look like a warrior.

 

(Apollo clears his throat.  Starbuck nods sarcastically and feigns drawing back to hit Boomer, who feigns defense and laughs.)

 

APOLLO

Enjoy your dinner?

 

STARBUCK

Well, let’s just say I’m looking forward to a few centons in space, alone.  Just me, a fast ship, and a fair galaxy.

 

APOLLO

A fast ship you have.  The engineers have doubled her range and speed.  They even installed a voice-activated computer that can outfly anything the Cylons throw at you.

(with a laugh)

 

STARBUCK

Hot pilot doesn’t need all that electronic felgercarb. 

(climbs into the cockpit)

 

APOLLO

After launch, switch on your short-range marker beacon so we can track you.  Other than that, no transmissions unless absolutely necessary, and then only in short-pulse scrambled code.  We don’t want the Cylons tracing your broadcast beam back to us.  And, uh, Starbuck, if you should make Cylon contact and they should spot you—

 

STARBUCK

I know.  I know, it’s a one-way voyage.  Can’t have them tracking me back to the fleet.  Twice as fast, huh?

 

APOLLO 

You’ll love her.  They put a second pulse generator on all engines. 

 

STARBUCK

Doesn’t look any bigger.

 

APOLLO

She’s not.

 

STARBUCK

You can’t add that much weight without getting rid of something.

 

APOLLO

They removed the laser generators.

 

STARBUCK

Oh!

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

RIGEL

Transferring launch control to Recon Viper One.  Launch when ready.

 

(Starbuck’s Viper)

 

STARBUCK

Ah, that makes sense.  Get rid of the laser generators and, uh – you’re unarmed!

(launches)

 

(in the launch bay)

 

BOOMER

Wish we were with him.

 

APOLLO

Yeah, so do I. 

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

RIGEL

Short-range beacon on and functioning.  Recon Viper One indicating light speed and accelerating.

 

(Starbuck’s Viper)

 

STARBUCK

Okay, baby, let’s see what you can do. 

(accelerates and tries some moves)

Eeeeeeyoooo!  Fantastic!  Incredible!  Like to see a computer do that.

(switches on C.O.R.A.)

 

C.O.R.A.

You asked for it. 

(executes some wild moves)

 

STARBUCK

Whoa!  Computer, back to normal track!

 

C.O.R.A.

Your wish is my command, honey. 

 

STARBUCK

The, uh, name’s Starbuck. 

 

C.O.R.A.

Don’t be a bore.  My name’s Cora, short for Computer Oral Response Activated.  I’m programmed to respond instantly to all your needs.  I’m also to keep you amused over the lengthy duration of our prolonged voyage. 

(activates display)

We’re on a Delta vector for quadrant Alpha Six.  I’ve activated my sensors and am probing the asteroid area where life forms were reported by the Galactica’s rather limited scanner. 

 

STARBUCK

Do I detect a bit of jealousy?

 

C.O.R.A.

Quiet, please, I’m scanning.

 

STARBUCK

Eh, excuse me. 

 

C.O.R.A.

I have two identified sublight vehicles bearing Omega One Alpha Six.  Shall we investigate? 

 

STARBUCK

Eh, wh-what do we do if they’re Cylons?  Wave?

 

C.O.R.A.

We have enough speed to outrun anything in the universe.  Hang on.

(activates thrusters)

Slowing to sublight speed.  We don’t want to barge in until we know what they are. 

 

STARBUCK

Who they are.

 

C.O.R.A.

Excuse me.  I’m putting them on the screen.  Visual contact in point one five centons.

 

STARBUCK

They’re ancient!

 

C.O.R.A.

Sixth-millennium shuttle and fighter craft.  Origin unknown, but probably not Cylon.  Feel better, honey?

 

STARBUCK

No, I don’t like to see any unarmed craft being chased by a fighter. 

 

(Croad’s fighter pursues Robber’s shuttle.)

 

CROAD

Not this time, Robber. 

(fires his lasers)

 

C.O.R.A.

May I suggest a high-speed flyby, kicking in our second booster within fifty metrons?  Our backwash should knock him silly and scare the pogees out of him. 

 

(Croad fires at Robber again.)

 

STARBUCK

Release controls.

 

C.O.R.A.

(sighs)

Released.

 

(Starbuck executes the flyby, confusing Croad long enough to allow Robber to land on a nearby asteroid.)

 

CROAD

(sighs)

Croad here.  Lost contact.  Returning to Proteus.

 

C.O.R.A.

You were fifty-two metrons away when you kicked in the booster. 

 

STARBUCK

It worked, didn’t it?

 

C.O.R.A.

Rather sloppily. 

 

STARBUCK

(sighs)

Listen, Cora, let’s get—

 

C.O.R.A.

Fighter is disengaging and turning for asteroid point seven one hectars distant.  Shuttlecraft has been damaged and is landing on asteroid directly ahead.  What shall we do?

 

STARBUCK

(sighs)

Follow the shuttle.

 

C.O.R.A.

May I land us, or do I have to go through a bouncer?

 

STARBUCK

Just give me the vectors!

 

C.O.R.A.

Vectors displayed.  Please, try not to jar my chips. 

(Starbuck lands next to shuttle)

Switching all systems except marker beacon to standby mode. 

 

STARBUCK

(exits Viper and approaches shuttle)

Yo!  You all right? 

 

(Robber attempts to club Starbuck from behind, but Starbuck hears a grunt and wheels around in time with his laser drawn.)

 

STARBUCK

Drop it!

 

ROBBER

I’m sorry, lad.  I’m sorry.  I thought you were the pirate that was chasin’ me.  They’re probably from the Frodo system, and let me tell ya, there’s some very nasty beggars there.  I don’t know what made me think I could cross this asteroid belt anyway. 

 

STARBUCK

I said drop it!

 

ROBBER

(drops his weapon)

I don’t blame ya for bein’ cautious.  I’m just a shuttle driver with a load of agro parts for the farmers on Crodan. 

 

STARBUCK

Crodan?  What’s that?  What settlement?

 

ROBBER

It’s a very small, a very primitive settlement that’s never seen the likes of that beauty you’re flyin’ there.  Now, you’re not from this system, are ya?

 

STARBUCK

I’ll ask the questions.

 

ROBBER

Yeah, I know you will.  I just like to know where I stand.  Are you a pirate or a marauder?  You wanna check my cargo?  Go right ahead.  It’s not worth much. 

 

STARBUCK

Think I will. 

(Robber starts to follow him)

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah. 

(picks up a bottle of ambrosa and laughs)

Agro parts for some farmer on, uh, Crodan?

 

ROBBER

Aye.  And that too. 

 

STARBUCK

This is ambrosa.  Must be more than fifty yahren old.

 

ROBBER

Five hundred, to be exact.

 

STARBUCK

Five hu—?  That’s impossible.  There hasn’t been any of this around the star system since, uh, during the war. 

 

ROBBER

What star system was that, lad?

 

STARBUCK

Where’d you get this?  Can’t be real. 

(laughs)

You a bootlegger?

 

ROBBER

Try it.

 

STARBUCK

I will. 

(removes cork with his teeth and takes a drink)

Mmmm, by all that’s holy. 

 

ROBBER

I got a lot more where that came from, ya know.  If you’d be willin’ to keep your mouth shut, I’d, uh, be glad to share my find with you.

 

STARBUCK

This is worth a fortune.  Uh, how much of this stuff is there?

 

ROBBER

A lot more than you or I could haul out o’ here.  But that ship of yours doesn’t look like it was made for cargo; it looks like it was made for—  Now, wait a minute.  You’re not the pirate, are ya?  You’re not gonna kill me, are ya?

 

STARBUCK

Well, I, uh, I didn’t mean to frighten you.  I’m a little leery of pirates myself. 

 

ROBBER

I don’t blame ya. 

 

STARBUCK

Hehhhh, how many of those guys do you figure there are in this area?

 

ROBBER

This is a pretty rough sector, you know.  Dozens of asteroids around where they can hide and come out and attack an unsuspecting ship.  You wouldn’t be a – you wouldn’t be an advance scout for some sorta convoy, would you?

 

STARBUCK

(laughs)

No, no, no.  This’d be a very bad place to bring an unarmed ship.

 

ROBBER

That it would. 

 

STARBUCK

(takes another drink)

Ahh.  Tell me, what kind of range do you figure those, eh, pirates have?

 

ROBBER

(picks up a bottle as soon as Starbuck turns his back)

I don’t really know.

(knocks Starbuck unconscious)

 

STARBUCK

Ohhhh!

 

ROBBER

I’m sorry, lad, but that beauty you’re flyin’ is the answer to all my dreams. 

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

ATHENA

Commander, short-range beacon indicates Recon Viper One climbing back into orbit.

 

ADAMA

Maintain tracking.  He may be onto something. 

(into communicator)

Out.

 

(Robber climbs into atmosphere in Starbuck’s Viper.  Confused by the controls, he activates C.O.R.A.)

 

C.O.R.A.

Finally decided to turn me back on?  Shall I scan for that fighter?

 

ROBBER

Negative.

 

C.O.R.A.

Identify.

 

ROBBER

Are you capable of flying this ship?

 

C.O.R.A.

Affirmative.  Identify.

 

ROBBER

All right, then, control is yours.  Assume course to asteroid mass one point oh seven seven five, bearing Delta Seven. 

 

C.O.R.A.

Computed.  Where’s Starbuck? 

 

ROBBER
Prepare to transmit intergalactic transmitter range. 

 

C.O.R.A.

Displayed.  What happened to Starbuck?

 

ROBBER

Stand by to transmit.

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

ATHENA

Commander, long-range transmission is being sent by Recon Viper One. 

 

ADAMA

Are you sure it’s long-range?

 

ATHENA

Narrow beam; i-it’s some sort of code, but not scrambled.

 

TIGH

What’s that fool doing?

 

ADAMA

Perhaps his short-post transmitter is inoperative.

 

ATHENA

It’s possible, father, but – but why an unknown code, and unscrambled?

 

TIGH

I suggest we check the Cylon codes, sir.

 

ADAMA

Do it.

 

(On Baltar’s base star, Lucifer enters the throne room.)

 

LUCIFER

We are picking up a transmission in a strange code.

 

BALTAR

Launch fighters to investigate.

 

LUCIFER

By your command.

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

ATHENA

(sighs)

No response to known Cylon code patterns. 

 

TIGH

Commander, we must assume a Cylon has captured or killed Lt. Starbuck and now has command of Recon Viper One.  That transmission is being beamed directly at our old home galaxy.  If it’s not a message to the Cylons, it’s a beacon directing them here.  That transmission must be stopped! 

 

ADAMA

Alert my son. 

(sighs)

 

TIGH

(nods)

 

(launch bay)

 

APOLLO

We are to seek out and destroy Recon Viper One.

 

BOOMER

Can’t we at least try to establish communications first?

 

APOLLO

Negative.  If that recon Viper kicks in those pulse generators, it’ll leave us eating ion vapors.

 

BOOMER

Captain, Starbuck—

 

APOLLO

Probably dead, Boomer.

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

RIGEL

Transferring launch control to Viper fighters.  Launch when ready.

 

(Vipers launch.)

 

(On the asteroid, Starbuck regains consciousness.)

 

STARBUCK

(in pain)

Ohhhhh.  Ahhhhh.  Aww. 

(sees that the Viper is gone)

Oh, no!  Ahhhh! 

(sighs and boards the shuttle)

Ahh, it’s like trying to fly a museum.

(sighs)

Oh, Cora, where are you when I need ya?  Come on, baby, ignite! 

(sighs with relief and takes off)

Come on.  Orbit! 

 

(Croad has returned and starts firing at the shuttle.)

 

CROAD

Good-bye, Robber.

 

STARBUCK

Look, I’m not Robber.  You’re, you’re j— you’re making a mistake.  Look, er, I’m not Robber!

 

CROAD

All right.  Now, you follow me and don’t even think about runnin’.

 

(On Proteus, Starbuck surrenders to Croad and his fellow enforcers.)

 

STARBUCK

Name’s Starbuck.  Privateer.  Cyranus galaxy?  Little misunderstanding, it, ehmm.  Hah. 

(jumps into the shuttle and an enforcer fires a warning shot)

E— easy, easy, easy.  I just – just – (laughs nervously) just want to offer you guys a little drink. 

(retrieves a bottle)

Ahh.  Mm?

(offers the bottle to Croad, who swats it away as enforcers board the shuttle)

Look, you got me mixed up with another guy!  Now, he took my ship and left me with this worthless load of agro parts!

(an enforcer throws out a large container marked “agro parts,” which comes open to reveal bottles of ambrosa)

Maybe we can make a deal.

 

(Vipers in space)

 

APOLLO

The long-range transmissions have stopped.

 

BOOMER

Still picking up the short-range marker beacon.  It’s a steady display coinciding with that asteroid, bearing Omega Seven Five relative. 

 

APOLLO

Well, let’s hope he stays there till we get there. 

 

BOOMER

And then?

 

APOLLO

We carry out our mission.

 

(On Proteus, Starbuck wakes up in a cell, groaning in pain.  There is a drawing of a solar system on the wall by his bunk.)

 

STARBUCK

Ahh!  Ohh!  Oh, twice in one day.  It just isn’t fair.

(holding his head)

I—

(hears animated conversation from other prisoners)

Uhh.  What?  Ow!  Huh, what’s happening?  What is this place?

 

ADULTERESS

(holding a bottle and clearly drunk)

Oh, well, now.

 

STARBUCK

Mm. 

(sighs, picks up another bottle and looks at label)

 

ASSAULT

What have we here?  What’s your name, lad?

 

STARBUCK

Uhm, Starbuck.

 

ASSAULT

Starbuck.  Starbuck, you say, huh?  Hmm.  That’s strange.  Never heard of that one before. 

 

STARBUCK

(nods)

 

OTHER INMATES

No.

(laughing)

 

ASSAULT

To our new mate, Starbuck! 

 

OTHER INMATES

Starbuck!

To Starbuck!

Aye!

To Starbuck!

(they all drink)

 

STARBUCK

Ambrosa, and over a hundred yahrens old.

 

ASSAULT

Uh, yes, yes, but, uh, they don’t give us the good stuff.

 

STARBUCK

Wh-where am I?

 

ASSAULT

Proteus prison.  Oh, uh, I’m, uh, Assault Nine, that’s Forger Seven ’round the corner there, Embezzler Ten down the – down the block there, and, uh, Adulteress Fifty-eight I see you’ve already met. 

 

BACKGROUND VOICES

Ah, hello!

Hand it over.

 

ASSAULT

A-and, our, uh, our, our children, of course.

 

ADULTERESS

What kind of offense is starbuckin’?  It sounds interestin’.

 

STARBUCK

(laughs)

It’s, eh, eh – not an offense, it’s a name.

 

FORGER

They’re one and the same, boy.

(laughing)

 

ADULTERESS

I wonder if our original sinners were as ignorant as this one.

 

STARBUCK

“Original sinners”?

 

ASSAULT

Yes!  Our ancestors.  The ones that were first sentenced here.

 

STARBUCK

Y-you’re in prison here for crimes committed by your ancestors?

 

FORGER

Well, at least we’re not an original sinner like you.

 

ADULTERESS

Come on, now.  What is starbuckin’? 

(laughs)

You can tell us.

 

STARBUCK

It-it’s a name!  Yeah, I’m just a privateer, from another galaxy. 

 

ASSAULT

Tell me, lad, any news about the war?

 

STARBUCK

(clueless)

The war.

 

ASSAULT

Yes!

 

FORGER

Between the Colonies and the Alliance.  You know, we supply ambrosa for the Colonial warriors!

 

STARBUCK

You what?

 

ADULTERESS

We may be prisoners, but we’re as patriotic as any Colonist! 

 

ASSAULT

We used to supply munitions and ambrosa for the war effort.  When the munitions ran out, we just kept on making the only thing we could, ambrosa.  And we’ve been making it for seven hundred yahrens.

 

ADULTERESS

Death to the Cylons!

 

OTHER INMATES

Death to the Cylons!

Death to the Cylons!

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

CASSIOPEIA

You sent for me?

 

ATHENA

Yes.

(to communicator)

Station Eight, please cover long scan Alpha mode for a centon.  Thank you.

(to Cassiopeia)

Come here. 

(they step aside)

Starbuck is on a long-range patrol.  We are receiving intermittent transmissions in a code we can’t decipher from his recon Viper.  Therefore, we can only assume that he is no longer in command.  He may be lost, or dead. 

(Cassiopeia sighs)

In any case, we sent out a patrol to destroy his ship.  And even if he’s still alive, without a ship he can’t get back.  I just thought you should know. 

(returns to her station)

Taking back the scanner.

 

CASSIOPEIA

Athena, thank you. 

 

ATHENA

(nods, then looks at readout)

Father, long-range transmissions from Recon Viper One resuming.  Same frequency and direction. 

 

ADAMA

(to Omega)

Apollo’s patrol status.

 

OMEGA

They should reach their site in three centons.

 

ATHENA

We’ve tried every known military code.  We – we can’t break it.

 

CASSIOPEIA

That’s an Aerian merchant code. 

 

ATHENA

What?

 

CASSIOPEIA

My father, he was a merchant.  I used to transmit for him.  That’s an Aerian merchant code, or it sure looks like one.

 

TIGH

A merchant code!

 

(Vipers in space)

 

APOLLO

From the strength of that signal, we’re practically on top of him.  Activating attack computer. 

 

BOOMER

Activating attack computer. 

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

ATHENA

(reading translation)

It’s a request for the coordinates to Aeries.

 

ADAMA

(to communicator)

Countermand the destruct orders.

 

(Above the asteroid, Apollo targets the recon Viper and prepares to fire.)

 

RIGEL (over communicator)

Blue Squadron patrol, disengage your attack.

 

APOLLO

Pull up, pull up!  The Galactica’s countermanding the attack!

 

BOOMER

Pulling up.

 

APOLLO

Boomer, he’s landing.  Let’s go back and investigate.

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

ADAMA

Must be a human who doesn’t know that Aeries is in Cylon hands.  Have Apollo investigate, with caution.

 

TIGH

Yes, sir.

 

ADAMA

And tell him to stop that transmission.

(sighs and crosses to Cassiopeia beside Athena’s station)

Thank you for your help. 

 

ATHENA

(sighs)

Well, you just saved some Aeries’ life, and maybe Starbuck’s. 

 

CASSIOPEIA

Let’s hope so.

 

ATHENA

Of course, it won’t change anything when he gets back.

 

CASSIOPEIA

I wouldn’t want it any other way.

 

(On the asteroid, Apollo and Boomer follow Robber into a small settlement.)

 

BOOMER

Looks deserted.

 

APOLLO

Only one way to find out.

 

(Boomer nods; Apollo runs to the recon Viper and crouches under its wing, then motions Boomer to follow.  They notice a pile of discarded equipment.)

 

BOOMER

Looks like he’s been stripping the ship!  Making room for cargo.

 

APOLLO

We’re not gonna find anything out sitting here. 

(starts to move)

 

BOOMER

Ah-ah-ah.  My turn.

 

APOLLO

You’ve been hangin’ around Starbuck too long.  Forgot how to take orders.  But thanks.

 

(Apollo runs out into the open and is shot at.  He runs and leaps for cover, followed by Boomer.)

 

BOOMER

One thing for sure, that’s not Starbuck.

 

APOLLO

Don’t bet on it.  Ready?

 

BOOMER

(nods)

 

APOLLO

Go!

 

(They fire in the direction of the attack.  Robber emerges from cover, limping.)

 

BOOMER

There he goes. 

 

APOLLO

Don’t shoot.  He’s human.

 

(They follow Robber into a group of buildings, exchanging a few shots.  Boomer aims at a running figure, but Robber’s wife Slayer appears and thrusts his arm upward as he fires.)

 

SLAYER

No! 

 

(Boomer’s shot goes wild and he sees Slayer join her daughter Tania, the figure he was aiming at.  Robber prepares to shoot Apollo from behind, but stops at the sound of Boomer’s voice.)

 

BOOMER

Apollo!  There’s a woman and child here!

 

ROBBER

(sighs)

Don’t hurt them.

(Apollo turns around)

You can do what you want with me, but don’t hurt my wife and child.

(drops his weapon)

I’m beggin’ you.

 

(Inside Robber’s dwelling the next morning, Slayer pours ambrosa.)

 

ROBBER

Me father taught me the merchant code, like his father taught him.  You see, our original sinner was a – an Aerian robber. 

 

APOLLO

These enforcers, their ancestors were the original guards?

 

ROBBER

(nods)

Eh.  In a strange sort o’ way, those swine are as trapped as we are. 

 

BOOMER

Why didn’t you, uh, make for Aeries when you escaped from prison?

 

ROBBER

I didn’t have a ship capable of reachin’ Aeries.

 

APOLLO

Till you stole Starbuck’s Viper.

 

SLAYER

He did it for Tania, so he did.  We couldn’t stand seein’ her raised in that prison. 

 

APOLLO

Think I would’ve done the same.

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

TIGH

Long-range scanners indicate three Cylon fighters emerging from the asteroid dust cloud from our wake. 

 

ADAMA

Omega, transfer long-range scanners to my console, please. 

 

OMEGA

Transferring, Commander.

 

TIGH

They don’t appear to be following us.  They’re on a vector for the asteroid where Recon Viper One landed.  And Apollo’s patrol. 

 

ADAMA

They must be scanning a narrow beam, or they’d have picked us up by now. 

 

BACKGROUND VOICE

Yes, I read you.

 

ADAMA

(looks at scanner)

Colonel, bring the fleet to flank speed, and set a new course, and put as much space as possible between ourselves and those fighters.

 

TIGH

Commander, Apollo’s patrol won’t know where to find us.

 

ADAMA

Set the course, please.

 

TIGH

(sharp intake of breath)

Yes, sir.

 

(Boxey arrives on the bridge with Muffit.)

 

ADAMA

Well!  Well, now, we have visitors!  And what are you doing up at this time of night, young man?

 

BOXEY

I don’t sleep too good when my father isn’t on board.

(Adama takes him on his lap)

When is he coming back?

 

ADAMA

Well, you know your father’s away on a very, very important mission.  May be a little while yet. 

 

BOXEY

But I miss him, and so does Muffit.  Don’t you, Muffit? 

 

(Muffit barks.)

 

ADAMA

Yes, I’m – I’m sure you do miss him. 

 

BOXEY

Do you miss him?

 

ADAMA

Yes, very much.  You know, when your father was as old as you are now, sometimes when he couldn’t sleep, he’d come into my room and climb into bed with me, and I’d tell him stories.  Would you like me to tell you a story?

 

BOXEY

Yeah.  Tell me a story about Earth.

 

ADAMA

Oh, about Earth.  All right.  Now, Earth is a beautiful blue-white planet…

 

(In his cell, Starbuck studies the map of planets drawn on the rock wall.  The enforcers come through the cell block delivering ambrosa.)

 

BACKGROUND VOICES

Oh, you been kinda late.

I need three this time, darlin’.

 

ENFORCER

(to Starbuck)

Take your bottle, Bootlegger.

 

STARBUCK

The name’s Starbuck.

 

ENFORCER

From now on, your name is Bootlegger One Thirty-seven.  Put that on.

(tosses an ID tag through the bars)

And you’d better learn not to argue with an enforcer.  Now, take that bottle!

 

(Starbuck smashes a bottle against the wall and rushes against the bars, which, to his surprise, swing open at his touch.)

 

INMATES (OS)

Close the door!

Close!

 

FORGER

Go back!  Go back!

 

ASSAULT

No, close!  Close it, I tell you!

 

ENFORCER

Close that door!  That’s an order!

 

ASSAULT

Close it.

 

STARBUCK

(coming out of his cell)

You want to enforce it?

 

INMATE (OS)

Go back, man!  Go back, man!  Go back!  Close the door!

 

(Having no idea what to do, the enforcer runs away.)

 

STARBUCK

Are all the cell doors unlocked?

 

ASSAULT

They haven’t worked in generations.

 

STARBUCK

Well, then come out!

 

ASSAULT

No, no, no, I – uh, uh, uh, we can’t!

 

FORGER

Oh, no!  No, no, no!

 

ADULTERESS

We’re prisoners!  Our fathers were prisoners, our mothers were prisoners!  It is the way of the universe.

 

STARBUCK

Ah, felgercarb!  You have rights, freedom!  You’re human beings!  Look, if you want to spend the rest of your lives in an ambrosa stupor, that’s fine, but what about your children?

 

FORGER

Oh, well – well, they will contribute as we have!  Uh, uh, making ambrosa for the Colonial warriors. 

 

STARBUCK

All the ambrosa ever made here is still aging out there on the loading docks! 

 

INMATES

Huh?

 

STARBUCK

The Colonies long ago forgot these penal asteroids even exist!  They probably thought they were lost early in the war!

 

CROAD

(entering with other enforcers)

He lies. 

 

STARBUCK

Then tell us the last time a Colonial freighter docked here!

 

CROAD

Silence him.

 

(Starbuck runs back into his cell as an enforcer shoots at him.)

 

STARBUCK

(to the inmates)

You’re wasting your lives!  You haven’t helped the Colonies!  You’ve just kept the enforcers in power!

 

ASSAULT

(leaves his cell)

You daggits.

 

CROAD

Back in your cell, Assault Nine!

 

ASSAULT

Is it – is what he says true?

 

CROAD

He’s a dirty lyin’ bootlegger!

 

STARBUCK

I am a Colonial warrior.

 

(The other inmates emerge from their cells.)

 

INMATES

A Colonial warrior!

A warrior!

 

ADULTERESS

Show us the loadin’ docks, Croad.

 

ASSAULT

(screams and begins attacking enforcers)

 

CROAD

All of you back in your cells!  All of you get back in your cells!

 

(Having prevailed, the prisoners emerge into the open air.)

 

ASSAULT

Ah!

(sniffs the air)

Ah, man alive, isn’t this great, hah?  Oh, ho ho!  Oh, by God, lad, you know, I never thought in me lifetime I’d smell the sweet smell of air, hah? 

 

STARBUCK

That’s freedom.

 

ASSAULT

Huh?  Heh.

(sniffs again)

Ahhhh!

 

STARBUCK

Yeah, how, uh – how much ambrosa do you figure is out here?

 

ADULTERESS

The labor of a thousand lifetimes.

 

STARBUCK

(whispers as he contemplates this)

Ehh.

(nods, then spots three Vipers flying overhead)

 

CROAD

C-Cylons!  You see, I told you, he’s a Cylon spy!

 

STARBUCK

If I am, I’m in big trouble.  Those are Colonial Vipers. 

(motions the prisoners to follow him to landing site)

Apollo!

 

APOLLO

Starbuck! 

 

STARBUCK

Apollo, this asteroid is piled high with ambrosa!  Thousand— millions of crates of it, I— some of it aging a millennium. 

 

BOOMER

I give up.  I just give up. 

 

STARBUCK

No, you don’t understand, see?  We’re rich. 

 

APOLLO

I’ll put that on your death stone.

 

STARBUCK

My death stone?

 

BOOMER

We can’t raise the Galactica.  She must have altered course. 

 

ASSAULT

Robber, me old scout! 

 

ROBBER
Ah!

 

ASSAULT

Son, we thought we’d never …  Where you—

 

STARBUCK

(to Robber)

You!  I wanna talk to you! 

 

BOOMER

Hey!

 

STARBUCK

You— 

 

APOLLO

Hey, that can wait.  Our sensors picked up Cylon fighters as we were landing.

 

INMATE
Death to the Cylons!

 

OTHER INMATES

Death to the Cylons!

 

APOLLO

Robber, get those people to cover.

 

ROBBER

Oh, yeah.  Back in the block!  Let’s move!  Back in the block!

 

ASSAULT 

All right, you people, come on.

 

APOLLO

You’ll have to fly the recon Viper. 

 

STARBUCK

Ehhhhh, she doesn’t have lasers.

 

BOOMER

But she’s fast.

 

(The Vipers take off as Cylon Raiders begin strafing the prison compound.)

 

APOLLO

Starbuck, get the Cylons’ attention.  We’ll surprise them.

 

STARBUCK

(switching on C.O.R.A.)

Wake up, Cora.

 

C.O.R.A.

Starbuck! 

 

STARBUCK

Ah, save the welcome for later.  We got three Cylons on our tail.

 

C.O.R.A.

Computing.  Estimate they will fire in point eight five microns. 

 

STARBUCK

Engage booster one micron before they fire.

 

C.O.R.A.

Anything you say, honey. 

(takes control)

Hang on. 

 

APOLLO

He’s got them occupied.  Let’s go.

 

C.O.R.A.

Here they come again. 

 

BOOMER

They’re splitting up.

 

APOLLO

I got the one on the left.

 

C.O.R.A.

Here they come.

 

STARBUCK

When I give you the word, execute a maximum-gee climb. 

 

C.O.R.A.

You’ll black out!  You’re only human.

 

STARBUCK

But you’re not.

 

C.O.R.A.

I’m beginning to regret that.

 

STARBUCK

So am I.  Ready— now!

 

(The Viper pulls up, causing a pursuing Raider to crash on the surface of the asteroid.  The inmates cheer; Starbuck passes out.)

 

C.O.R.A.

Starbuck?  Starbuck! 

(Boomer and Apollo destroy the other two Raiders)

Starbuck? 

 

STARBUCK

(starting to regain consciousness)

Aww.

 

C.O.R.A.

Starbuck?  Honey?

 

STARBUCK

Cora.  We—

(now fully conscious)

We did it!  We did it!

 

C.O.R.A.

Of course we did it.  The Cylon fighter couldn’t match my pull-up.  It crashed directly into the structures two point seven metrons east of the castle.  I’m scanning a regular inferno down there.  Evidently these structures contained highly volatile fluids. 

 

STARBUCK

Ohhhhhhhhh, frak!  There goes my fortune! 

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

ATHENA

Commander!  Long-range scan indicates ships approaching!  It’s quadrant Omega, Alpha Six.  Lead ship identification coming through.  It’s Recon Viper One! 

 

ADAMA

Certain? 

 

ATHENA

Positive.  We’re receiving the marker beacon.  He’s leading two Vipers and a shuttlecraft.  It’s Starbuck and Apollo’s patrol.

(laughs)

 

ADAMA

(laughs)

Well, Colonel, inform Boxey his father’s coming home! 

 

TIGH

With pleasure, sir.

 

ADAMA

(laughs, embraces Athena)

 

(In the Rising Star dining lounge, Robber and his family dine with Adama, Apollo, Athena, Boomer, Starbuck, Cassiopeia, and Boxey.)

 

ADAMA

We have our warriors back, and we welcome a good many voyagers who are complaining rather vociferously about the quality of our ambrosa. 

(Robber and Slayer laugh as Adama takes a drink)

Mmm, and Boxey has something for his father.

(Boxey hands Apollo a drawing)

He worked very hard at that.

 

APOLLO

What a beautiful map. 

(hands it to Adama)

Look at this.

 

ADAMA

Yes.  He really did a good job.  Here.

(passes it around the table)

 

STARBUCK

Are you, uh, going to be an astronavigator?

 

BOXEY

Nope, a Viper pilot like my father.

 

APOLLO

(laughs)

 

STARBUCK

Well, that’s really very good, Boxey.  But, uh, this, uh, blue planet – it’s out of orbit.  It belongs here.

(indicating)

 

ADAMA

How do you know that?

 

STARBUCK

Well, I-I don’t know, I – I, uh, guess I saw it somewhere or – no, I – Oh, I got it!  That cell I was in was covered with pictures and charts.  And this system was one of them. 

 

ROBBER

(looks at Slayer)

The Silent One. 

 

SLAYER

(nods)

 

ROBBER

It’s a prisoner my father told me about years ago.  The, uh, enforcers found him driftin’ in space.  He never said a word.  He just spent all his time drawin’ those pictures.  Why, is it important?

 

ADAMA

Well, the solar system that I taught Boxey to draw was something that I’d remembered from our ancient legends.  It was the solar system that contained the planet Earth. 

 

 

-END TRANSCRIPT-